Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Reposting Stupid Jokes and Supporting The Troops Ain't the Same Fucking Thing.
Here's another way to support the troops that doesnt use stupid I-Wish-I-Was-A-Meme jpegs:
WRITE TO A SERVICEPERSON!
Tell them that you care enough to post a ridiculous Santa joke about them, but not enough to actually communicate with a legislator.
Go to the US Armed Forces News Service www.usafns.com, Go to soldiersangels.com and join their letter-writing team. Go to the American Legion's letter writing team www.legion.org, Or Adopt A Sericemember at tellthmthanks.com
Here's a non-Santa-Joke-related idea: EMAIL THE PRESIDENT! OR SECRETARY PANETTA.
(Go Google him. We'll wait.)
Email your congressman, email your Senator. (I recognize you'd have to be smart enough to know who your representatives are in order to communicate with them, but try hard.) Email Secretary Clinton, email Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and remind him that we are not the UN's only peacekeeping ally. You know, actually tell your appointed and elected officials --people that can actually DO something about it-- how you feel about our soldiers in foreign land.
Rather than posting poorly written Santa jokes with little passive-aggressive guilt trips at the end, do something that'd actually HELP.
WRITE TO A SERVICEPERSON!
Tell them that you care enough to post a ridiculous Santa joke about them, but not enough to actually communicate with a legislator.
Go to the US Armed Forces News Service www.usafns.com, Go to soldiersangels.com and join their letter-writing team. Go to the American Legion's letter writing team www.legion.org, Or Adopt A Sericemember at tellthmthanks.com
Here's a non-Santa-Joke-related idea: EMAIL THE PRESIDENT! OR SECRETARY PANETTA.
(Go Google him. We'll wait.)
Email your congressman, email your Senator. (I recognize you'd have to be smart enough to know who your representatives are in order to communicate with them, but try hard.) Email Secretary Clinton, email Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and remind him that we are not the UN's only peacekeeping ally. You know, actually tell your appointed and elected officials --people that can actually DO something about it-- how you feel about our soldiers in foreign land.
Rather than posting poorly written Santa jokes with little passive-aggressive guilt trips at the end, do something that'd actually HELP.
Your Parents Can't Throw You Out Of The House. They Can Not.
Your parents can't throw you out of the house. They can not.
Never. It can not happen.
If you are under age 18, they have a duty to provide you housing*. Call the police and DYFS' emergency number 877-NJ-ABUSE (877-652-2873) That shit'll get handled right away.
If you are over 18, they cannot merely tell you to get out. You have established residence in the house, giving you the same standing as any other adult resident in the state. They have to evict you.
I repeat: they have to evict you.
If they ask you to leave, assert that you have established residence in their home and you can not be removed unless evicted.
Then call the police. If you can show the officers you've established residence in the house (drivers license, bills, mail, etc.) and your parents can not show them a warrant of removal, 100 times out of 100 the cops will tell them they don't have the right to kick you out.
They have to file a complaint in Landlord Tenant court*, you have to be served with the complaint, it has to go to trial.
The entire process will take no less than 38 days, from the date of initial filing to the issuance of a warrant of removal.
You'd also be entitled to at least two automatic stays of removal, adding another 25 days to the process.
Moreover, if they have set for you a monthly or weekly amount to pay for board, and you are not in arrears to them, they will NOT be able to evict you without other cause.
Your standing in this state as an adult living in your parents' house is no different than any other renter, boarder or other live-in tenant.
You fucking have rights.
I heard yet another story where this happened, where a 18-year-old was made homeless at the whim of a parent. Fortunately the father of one of her friends emailed me asking for advice, and I was anle to help.
I'll never understand what kind of scumbag, walking, talking hunk of shit parent can render their child homeless. It takes a level of depravity that I think is unforgivable.
Again: Your parents can't throw you out of the house. They can not.
*in New Jersey.
Never. It can not happen.
If you are under age 18, they have a duty to provide you housing*. Call the police and DYFS' emergency number 877-NJ-ABUSE (877-652-2873) That shit'll get handled right away.
If you are over 18, they cannot merely tell you to get out. You have established residence in the house, giving you the same standing as any other adult resident in the state. They have to evict you.
I repeat: they have to evict you.
If they ask you to leave, assert that you have established residence in their home and you can not be removed unless evicted.
Then call the police. If you can show the officers you've established residence in the house (drivers license, bills, mail, etc.) and your parents can not show them a warrant of removal, 100 times out of 100 the cops will tell them they don't have the right to kick you out.
They have to file a complaint in Landlord Tenant court*, you have to be served with the complaint, it has to go to trial.
The entire process will take no less than 38 days, from the date of initial filing to the issuance of a warrant of removal.
You'd also be entitled to at least two automatic stays of removal, adding another 25 days to the process.
Moreover, if they have set for you a monthly or weekly amount to pay for board, and you are not in arrears to them, they will NOT be able to evict you without other cause.
Your standing in this state as an adult living in your parents' house is no different than any other renter, boarder or other live-in tenant.
You fucking have rights.
I heard yet another story where this happened, where a 18-year-old was made homeless at the whim of a parent. Fortunately the father of one of her friends emailed me asking for advice, and I was anle to help.
I'll never understand what kind of scumbag, walking, talking hunk of shit parent can render their child homeless. It takes a level of depravity that I think is unforgivable.
Again: Your parents can't throw you out of the house. They can not.
*in New Jersey.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
"You Sick Bitch."
Seven day punishment.
My mother's brilliant idea. Find the seven things I like the most, take the away from me for an entire week, and only give them back starting the eighth day, if I am "good".
Number 1 was seeing, 2 was reading, 3 radio and watching tv, 4 playing with toys, 5 playing with friends, 6 using the phone, 7 drawing. It was in order of how much I enjoyed each thing. I liked seeing the most, drawing the least.
For two weeks I wasn't allowed to talk, and no one was allowed to refer to me as my name. I was "it". Ask "it" to come down for dinner. Tell "it" to go to bed.
She accomplished number 1 by taking my glasses.
Sick fucking drug addict, sadistic cunt.
So the first thing I got back was drawing, but I couldn't see well enough to do it. So I wrote stories. I wasn't allowed to read, but writing was my loophole. Writing was the ONLY thing I could do, the only way to pass the time.
That was the thing that passified me, the one thing that I was allowed to do to amuse myself. No tv, no friends, no toys, no glasses. No speaking. No being spoken to
Words were it for me. Still are.
My mother's brilliant idea. Find the seven things I like the most, take the away from me for an entire week, and only give them back starting the eighth day, if I am "good".
Number 1 was seeing, 2 was reading, 3 radio and watching tv, 4 playing with toys, 5 playing with friends, 6 using the phone, 7 drawing. It was in order of how much I enjoyed each thing. I liked seeing the most, drawing the least.
For two weeks I wasn't allowed to talk, and no one was allowed to refer to me as my name. I was "it". Ask "it" to come down for dinner. Tell "it" to go to bed.
She accomplished number 1 by taking my glasses.
Sick fucking drug addict, sadistic cunt.
So the first thing I got back was drawing, but I couldn't see well enough to do it. So I wrote stories. I wasn't allowed to read, but writing was my loophole. Writing was the ONLY thing I could do, the only way to pass the time.
That was the thing that passified me, the one thing that I was allowed to do to amuse myself. No tv, no friends, no toys, no glasses. No speaking. No being spoken to
Words were it for me. Still are.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Babies are yummy!! NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM! I'm Mitt Romney, and I approved this message.
Babies are yummy!! NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM!
I'm Mitt Romney, and I approved this message.
I'm Mitt Romney, and I approved this message.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
... when you're beating off to porn on your iPad...
Don't you hate it when you're beating off to porn on your iPad and it's paused because some asshole sent you an email and the notification pops up on the screen?
No, me neither. Is that even a thing?
No, me neither. Is that even a thing?
We should exchange self-filmed videos of each other masturbating. C'mon, how fucking hot would that be?
What do you have to lose?
It's not like one person could blackmail the other, because we'd both have videos of the other as insurance.
And we both know you like the idea of someone watching you getting off, don't you?
And I can certainly make an entertaining video as well. What i lack as far as not having a perfect body would be trumped 1000-fold by how sensual and erotic my video would be.
You'd never forget it. I've done two ready for immediate exchange.
And don't worry if you're not one of those cookie-cutter over made-up bitches! You trump them all.
So let's do it. Email me at dfisher201144@yahoo.com
Don't be afraid. I'll never tell.
What do you have to lose?
It's not like one person could blackmail the other, because we'd both have videos of the other as insurance.
And we both know you like the idea of someone watching you getting off, don't you?
And I can certainly make an entertaining video as well. What i lack as far as not having a perfect body would be trumped 1000-fold by how sensual and erotic my video would be.
You'd never forget it. I've done two ready for immediate exchange.
And don't worry if you're not one of those cookie-cutter over made-up bitches! You trump them all.
So let's do it. Email me at dfisher201144@yahoo.com
Don't be afraid. I'll never tell.
A BRIEF PROCEDURAL HISTORY OF THE GRACE LEE CASE, WRITTEN AS AN R-RATED PLAY FOR SECOND-GRADERS.
A BRIEF PROCEDURAL HISTORY OF THE GRACE LEE CASE, WRITTEN AS AN R-RATED PLAY FOR SECOND-GRADERS.
Grace: Kill me.
Grace's parents: No, it's a sin.
Grace: Fuck you. Kill me.
Grace's parents: No, you'll burn in Hell, forever.
Grace: Fuck you, I'll ask a Judge.
Grace: Judge, let 'em kill me.
Grace's parents: No, don't, Judge. it's a sin.
Judge: Fuck you. Doctors? Kill her.
Doctors: You got it.
Grace: Yay!
Grace's parents: No, it's a sin. We'll ask another Judge.
Grace: You suck.
Grace's parents: No, we don't want you to go to Hell. It's a sin.
Grace: Appellate Judge, kill me.
Grace's parents: No, Judge, keep her alive. It's a sin.
Appellate Judge: Fuck you. Doctors? Kill her.
Doctors: Yay (again).
Grace' parents: Nooooooooooooooo!
Grace: Fuck it. Don't kill me.
Grace' parents: No, it's a... Wait, what?
Grace: Kill me.
Grace's parents: No, it's a sin.
Grace: Fuck you. Kill me.
Grace's parents: No, you'll burn in Hell, forever.
Grace: Fuck you, I'll ask a Judge.
Grace: Judge, let 'em kill me.
Grace's parents: No, don't, Judge. it's a sin.
Judge: Fuck you. Doctors? Kill her.
Doctors: You got it.
Grace: Yay!
Grace's parents: No, it's a sin. We'll ask another Judge.
Grace: You suck.
Grace's parents: No, we don't want you to go to Hell. It's a sin.
Grace: Appellate Judge, kill me.
Grace's parents: No, Judge, keep her alive. It's a sin.
Appellate Judge: Fuck you. Doctors? Kill her.
Doctors: Yay (again).
Grace' parents: Nooooooooooooooo!
Grace: Fuck it. Don't kill me.
Grace' parents: No, it's a... Wait, what?
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