After.

This is What I Do to Humility And Portion Control!

Look, Up in the sky!
It's an Emu?!
It's an A-10 Warthog Anti-Tank Bomber?
No, It's EGO MAN!

I love crazy Camgirls

I love crazy chicks.

MCA Fucks Over Beasties And His Family With Crayon-scribbled Codicil

Here's why The Beastie Boys are suing Monster: So THEY don't get sued by MCA's estate, because THEY violated the terms set forth in his Will.

MCA hand wrote this on his Will: "In no event may my image or name or any music or any artistic property created by me be used for advertising purposes."

Nice job, fucktard. Great way to fuck your band and your family over.

(Everybody's a fucking attorney, right? Fuck all the school, training and hard work it takes: Throw a couple of legal sounding words together and, poof, you're Alan Fucking Dershowitz.)

Why, you ask? Cause MCA doesn't understand the difference between publicity rights and copyrights. BECAUSE HE'S NOT A FUCKING LAWYER!!!! 

See, he refers to his "name and image" which have value and must be licensed under publicity rights. But as soon as he writes "music and artistic property", he's triggered copyright law, and that's where he's fucked the Beasties and his wife and daughter. 

'Cause I'm guessing he isn't the exclusive owner of the copyrighted material that The Beastie Boys created. 

If all three own the copyright, he can do what he wants with his portion, but he can't limit the other co-owners, which he does by creating an illegal perpetuity via his Will. You can't tie the hands of a co-owner if all co-owners haven't agreed to it. 

And how vague and overbroad is "advertising purposes"?  If you use the plain language construction of his restriction, that means you could never sell another DVD, CD or record with his face on it, including their back-catalog. 

And while everyone's being a fucking amateur attorney, take a look at some caselaw on mandatory compulsory license. See, if your song was publicly distributed, you can't prevent others from sampling it (like every Hip-Hop song in the world) or covering it (like every shitty karaoke instrumental in the world), EVEN IF THE OWNERS DECLINE TO GIVE PERMISSION AND/OR DERIVE ANY PROFIT FROM IT.

(Shocking, huh? And you know why you didn't know that before?!? BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING SHORT-ORDER COOK, NOT AN  ATTORNEY. Let's make a deal: I won't try to fuck up a simple breakfast order and steal tips from waitresses, you don't try to be a fucking adjunct Professor in Contract Law.)

And just wait until MCA's wife has to file a 1041 and pay estate tax! Mr. Yauch's crayon-scribbled addendum just put into question what his copyrights are publicity rights are worth, because who the fuck knows what the estate is allowed to license?!  They'll have to assign a value to the source of future income for the 2011 filing. 

So, Monster did nothing wrong via the mandatory licensing act(s), but the Beastie Boys certainly may have violated the terms of MCA's Will, which will get them sued by the Estate, who in turn will be liable as a counter-defendant when they're counter-sued for trying to enforce a perpetuity. 

Good fucking luck.  

Fuck you,aging. Fuck you, 45th birthday. Fuck you all.

Mom, Uncle Santa and Uncle Ti-Hua Are Teasing Me Over Skype Again!

Mom, Uncle Santa and Uncle Ti-Hua Are Teasing Me Over Skype Again!

How come Chuck Norris' toupee is off-limits? Everyone breaks Shatner's balls, but Chuck's got the ass of a golden retriever on his head and... Hold on... Hon, can you get the door for me? I dunno, I wasn't expecting... <BANG> <scuffle> What the fu... Who are you? I... Oh, shit! <sidekick to head> uhnnn. I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I don... <punches landing> I'm fucking sorry, bro! Let go of my arm OWWWWW!!! FUCK!!!! IM SORRY!! Let me go <arm twisted, humerus breaks> OOOWWWWW, OW, WHAT THE FUCK?! I'm fucking sorry. <whispers> alright, dude. Alright! I'll do it. ALRIGHT!! Mr. Norris does not wear a toupee. Mr. Norris grows hair exactly when and where he wants to.

How come Chuck Norris' toupee is off-limits? Everyone breaks Shatner's balls, but Chuck's got the ass of a golden retriever on his head and... Hold on...

Hon, can you get the door for me? I dunno, I wasn't expecting...

What the fu... Who are you? I... Oh, shit! uhnnn.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I don... I'm fucking sorry, bro! Let go of my arm OWWWWW!!! FUCK!!!! IM SORRY!! Let me go OOOWWWWW, OW, WHAT THE FUCK?! I'm fucking sorry. alright, dude. Alright! I'll do it. ALRIGHT!!

Mr. Norris does not wear a toupee. Mr. Norris grows hair exactly when and where he wants to.

Fat Man | The YNC.com

"Having been on the lam since escaping the Phantom Zone, a markedly older and paunchier General Zod still benefits from exposure to Earth's yellow sun, to the Sheriff Department's detriment."

Fat Man | The YNC.com

Absurd.

Context. Is. Everything.

The Comedy Stylings Of Justice Antonin Scalia.

“There is nothing new in the realization that the Constitution sometimes insulates the criminality of a few in order to protect the privacy of us all.”

“Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached”

“In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along.”

“There is nothing new in the realization that the Constitution sometimes insulates the criminality of a few in order to protect the privacy of us all.”

“[The Freedom of Information Act is] the Taj Mahal of the Doctrine of Unanticipated Consequences, the Sistine Chapel of Cost-Benefit Analysis Ignored.”

“A search is a search, even if it happens to disclose nothing but the bottom of a turntable.”

“A law can be both economic folly and constitutional.”

“The Court today completes the process of converting [Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964] from a guarantee that race or sex will not be the basis for often will.”

“What is a moderate interpretation of the text? Halfway between what it really means and what you'd like it to mean?”

“If you think aficionados of a living Constitution want to bring you flexibility, think again. You think the death penalty is a good idea? Persuade your fellow citizens to adopt it. You want a right to abortion? Persuade your fellow citizens and enact it. That's flexibility.”

“The line between protected pornography and unprotected obscenity lies between appealing to a good healthy interest in sex and appealing to a depraved interest, whatever that means."

That Which is Supposed To Tear Us Asunder Often Leads To Our Betterment.

That Which is Supposed To Tear Us Asunder Often Leads To Our Betterment. A potentially continuing series.

1959- Kerouac's On The Road will destroy the world. The Beat Generation will never be taken seriously.

2012- Kerouac, Ginsberg et als. showed a nation, among other things, that economic boom doesn't create social change; instead it masks it's absence.

"I Support The FRC's Hatred Of Gays" -- Zombie Hitler.

"The most effective way of reducing teen suicide attempts is not to create a 'positive social environment' for the affirmation of homosexuality. Instead, it would be to discourage teens from being lesbian, gay or bisexual."
----Family Research Council, which the Southern Poverty Law Center listed as an anti-gay hate group in 2010.

“I would much prefer to export homosexuals from the United States than to import them into the United States, because we believe that homosexuality is destructive to society.”
---Family Research Council

“I think that the Supreme Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which overturned the sodomy laws in this country, was wrongly decided. I think there should be a place for criminal sanctions against homosexual behavior.”
---Family Research Council

"There is, for example, a single and simple solution for smoking-related illnesses, and we have all heard it—‘If you don’t smoke, don’t start. If you do smoke, quit.’ It’s long past time for public health authorities to say the same about being gay.
---Family Research Council

"No one is born gay."
---Family Research Council