Supposably: Still A Word. Buy A Dictionary.

Where is Thumbkin, Where is Thumbkin...

Let me answer you in sign-language. Twice.

The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn.

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BBW Porn and Rue! BBW Porn Censored With --And By-- Rue McLanahan

BBW Porn and Rue! BBW Porn Censored With --And By-- Rue McLanahan

Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed

Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: Both Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed


Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed

NJ Supreme Court Manual For Judges Written In Comic Sans. Appropriately So.

 

http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/appdiv/manualonstyle.pdf


This is the manual published by the Supreme Court of New Jersey guiding Judges on how they are to format bench opinions. 

It's in Comic Sans, the font based on Matt Groening's handwriting in The Simpsons comics.

Island of Dr. Hamlet.

"Here hung those whiskers that I have licked I know not how oft. —Where be your Friskies Dinner now? Your piece of string? Your ball with the thingie in it? Your flashes of meow-iment that were wont to..."


(Borrowed from Rifftrax - The Island of Dr. Moreau)

Conflicted: I So Love Disney Cartoons. However...

Unfriended Me on Facebook.

The only number I want from a girl is her IP address. I need to be cautious, I'm not having sex with someone that unfriended me on FB.

...Smell like a Pickle...

Ladies, if you masturbate with a cucumber then douche with vinegar and water, your vagina will taste like a pickle. @awordofadvice

Avoid the Walk of Shame.

You can avoid the walk of shame if you bring your one-night stand back to your home for the evening.

Best Tweets Ever.

I made my date uncomfortable by undressing her with his eyes. She wouldn't be so freaked out if I didn't clearly remove her jeans before her shoes. #seductionFAIL

Lemming-like Assholiness x 1,223,389.

How does one say, "are you fucking kidding me, you fucking lemmings?" one million, two hundred and twenty-three thousand, three hundred eighty-nine times?

One million, two-hundred twenty-three thousand, three-hundred eighty-nine people are not aware that, a), the oldest living person is a 115-year-old American woman, and/or, b), Facebook 'likes' don't really create wishes?

ONE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED TWENTY THREE THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED TWENTY SEVEN PEOPLE?!?!?!?!? From a photo album entitled "Mad Likes Share This"?

What is wro... Never mind. Mazel tov. Enjoy Jersey Shore tonight.

Flowers For Algernon Would've Taken 475 Years To Write With Autocorrect.

Flowers For Algernon Would've Taken 475 Years To Write With Autocorrect.

Volkswagen Not To Use HitlerMobile Name in Next Beetle

Volkswagen has announced that the fourth generation of the Beetle will not be called the "Hitlermobile Reichvagen".

"Despite his work with Dr. Porsche to bring affordable automobiles to Germany," said a Volkswagen A.G. spokesperson, "His actions later in life kinda overshadowed whatever good he might have done earlier on."

"His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young."

"His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young." 


--- 50 Shades of Grey

We Shore Love Evurywun At Chick -Fil- A. 'Cept You Homos, A-course! Y'all Can Fuckin Dye!

In recent weeks, as a wave of business executives and corporations have signaled support for legalizing same-sex marriage, stupid assholes that oppose gay marriage have launched boycott campaigns and have written letters urging corporations to remain "prototypically backwards as fuck" on the issue. But this week when the president of Chick-fil-A came out against same-sex marriage, the National Organization for Bigots (NOBS) praised him as a "corporate hero for hatred."

NOBS  is one of the advocacy groups leading the charge against legalizing same-sex marriage -- and the push for corporate equal-rights-fuckery.

In a Monday interview with the Baptist Daily Intolerant Asshate, Dan Cathy, Chick-fil-A's president and chief executive, said "guilty as charged," when asked about "the company's support of the traditional family."

Cathy had also noted his abject hatred to same-sex marriage and its advocates: "I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about," he said, right after fucking defining what marriage is about.

The company has long been under fire from gay rights advocates for its history of giving to groups that advocate against gay rights. Officials at the fast food chain have mostly remained silent on the issue although longtime company observers say Cathy's recent public statements come as no surprise.

On Thursday, the National Organization for Marriage celebrated Cathy's statements. The NOBS blog carried a link to the Baptist Press article, with the headline "President of Chick-Fil-A Proud to Stand for Killing Faggots and Other Family Values" and the line "The Baptist Press profiles a corporate hero for discrimination."

In 2011, NOM launched its Corporate Fairness Project, a program designed to push for corporate neutrality. According to its head, Jonathan Baker, it was created because "an increasing number of advocates of same-sex marriage were requesting corporations take a stand."

The Corporate Fairness Project is also leading boycotts of Starbucks and General Mills, two companies that have publicly supported same-sex marriage.

But Baker argues that Cathy's actions are not similar to executives' actions at the other companies because Cathy was expressing his "assholey personal opinion."

This is Sarina Valentina.
He's a dude.
Enjoy your weird boner.

"Its a question of what's appropriate," Baker said. "Is it appropriate for a corporation to take a stance? We don't believe so. Is it appropriate for individuals to have a personal opinion? We believe so."

But in his interview this week with the Baptist Press, Cathy never said he was merely articulating his personal opinion on marriage. The company is known for promoting the company founders' Christian values, which has led it to close all stores on Sundays.

"Dat's right," said whatever the fuck this guy's name is. "And we don't close on Saturdays during the Jewish sabbath, largely because we hate Jews. We close on Sunday in honor of the CHRISTIAN sabbath day, so that we can worship Christ, who was a Jew. Wait, what?

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit," Cathy told the Baptist Press reporter. "We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and while we masturbate furiously to tranny porn whenever possible, we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that."

Online Law Schools: Fucking Poor Criminal Defendants Over Since 1994.

At Rutgers School of Law, Camden, tuition for the 2011-2012 academic year is $22,394.78. At Yale Law (my first choice, way back when, who didn't even bother sending me a rejection letter), 2011-2012 is $73,680. At William H. Taft School of Law, it's less than 8 grand. Downside: it's an online college and therefore non-ABA accredited. Currently, California is the only state that allows non ABA school graduates to sit for the Bar Exam. So, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Um... Of COURSE it's a bad thing! How the fuck are you going to learn anything that even resembles being an ethical and successful client advocate?! How do you learn how to be an Officer of the Court? You don't, I'm guessing. So who'll use 'em? Those who can't afford a real lawyer. Criminal defendants. Poor criminal defendants. And they'll be fucked because of it.

Jesus Christ: The Last Interview, Part 2.

Q. Do you regularly smite people?


A: Every once in a while. I dusted off the whole Malaria thing for Cheryl Cole. She annoys me. Normally, the whole free-will thing kinda doesn't work if we're throwing lightning bolts at people every time they screw up. It is a person's sense of right and wrong that keeps people straight. 

Q: Ok, here's goes nothing. Mel Gibson.

A: Buffoon. Mel Gibson has lost a step, religion-wise, after spending 45 years on the Catholic All-Star team. For a guy with his money and success, you'd think he'd be a happier guy. Heck, I was a happy guy, and I knew that my Father was going to kill me!!!

His Hamlet was actually pretty good, tho. Certainly better than that ham Kenneth Branaugh.

Q: What should we know about Christ's position regarding the War in Iraq?

A: You're asking me what is My opinion of organized, sanctioned murder in order to prosecute social policy? 

Q: Uhhhhh...

(Laughs.) 

Do you know how many wars have been prosecuted in My name? Trust me, my father and I were dumbfounded by The Crusades. It was ministry from the tip of a sword. 


In order for one to agree with war, one must believe that two or more ideologies are functionally incompatible. Ideologies are operationally pure: It is only when ideology is tempered with bigotry, or hate, that they can not co-exist. And bigotry can not be a material aspect of ideology.

Q: Did you watch the World Cup?

A: Not so much, frankly. Heaven is on Eastern Standard Time, so we get the games at, like, 2 in the morning. Everyone in Heaven has to be up by 6:30 for P.E., and I'm not running a 4 ½ minute mile on 4 hours sleep.

It was kind of funny that France forfeited early, the USA turned up late, and England had to battle the Germans. Kinda like World War II all over again?

If I had some mint jelly, I would eat you the fuck up.

Q: Did God make any mistakes, creation-wise?

A: Other than Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag? (Laughs.) Seriously, no. God is infallible. What does exist are some designs that are good, but could be better. 

My personal feelings? I think we could've made horses legs a little thicker. Man, they stub a hoof and 20 minutes later they're taking a bullet in the head. I think we could take another look at Tila Tequila, and putting Israel next to Egypt . I'm not thrilled with David Caruso's acting, and I assure you Limp Bizkit and the 2010 Knicks must've slipped through the cracks in quality control.

And I can't explain why Shannen Doherty's left eye is 2 inches higher than her right one. She looks like a Picasso painting!

Jesus Christ: The Last Interview, Part 1.

The Alpha and Omega, Bitches!

Jesus Christ of Nazareth: From his birth in less than stellar conditions, to a non-descript young life, until he began his ministry with John the Baptist at age 30, He has made a big splash in just a few short years. 

Most importantly, his followers believe Him to be the Messiah, the Savior promised in the Old Testament. His detractors, including high-ranking members of the Roman Parliament and leaders in his own religion believed Him to be -at best- a deluded teacher.

And at worst, a heretic.

Christ did not face trial for these charges, but He did face death by crucifixion. 1970-odd years later, He sat down with anthonyrosania to discuss this all.

Q: Good afternoon, Lord.

A: Good afternoon to you, my son.

Q: Let's get right into this. Your own religion, Judiasm, rejects the notion that you are the awaited Messiah, because you haven't fulfilled the Messianic prophecies in the Tanakh.

A: (laughing) Wow, this certainly isn't a Larry King interview, is it.

Q: I apologize. I...

A: It's OK. I appreciate your directness, but I believe your question is ill-worded. 

Q: How so?

A: The Messiac promises refer to one Messiah, but they did not consider one Messiah with two appearances. He comes first as the "rejected and brutalized" Messiah mentioned in Isaiah. And He will come the second time as the "Leader of the world.", thus fulfilling the "victorious" Messianic prophecies. This time around, rejected and brutalized, the second time. . . well, it'll be noisy.

Q: OK, thank you for that.

A: You're welcome.

Q: So, who do you think should replace Simon on American Idol?

A: Ugh. Is that show still on? To be honest, I have to go with Howard Stern. He's a member of the Tribe, and he's far more entertaining to watch than That blonde-haired guy, Ellen. 

Q: Couldn't agree more. So, Judas. . . thoughts?

A: Well, we don't talk much any more. I can tell you something most people don't believe. He is in Heaven.

Q: What?!? How is that possible? he was a sinner! The WORST sinner! He sold you out!

A: Let me read you the list of people that were not sinners. Number one: Me. That is all.

Q: But . . .

A: Look, what he did sucked. But, he certainly believed in Me, didn't he? He was just fulfilling his role, a role that my Father selected him for. Who am I -who are you- to question Him?

Q: I. . . I'm shocked.

A: We both had our roles, and mine wasn't a walk in the park, either. Ever read Isiah?

Q: Ok. Lebron is going to Miami. Thoughts?

A: Oh my God! (Laughing) What a dick, huh?

Q: (Laughing) Yeah, I guess.

A: And what was the deal with the TV special? "The Decision"??? He should have named in "How to Alienate an Entire Country in One Easy Step." Doesn't he realize that he'll have to play in the cities he's pissed off? Douche.

Q: How true. So, what year did you die?

A: Why does it matter?

Q: Well, I mean. . . Your death was probably the most important ever. We should know when.

A: Why?

Q: Because. . . I mean. . .

A: Don't you think there are other things that humanity should focus on? Knowing the year of my death isn't going to earn you extra credit points. You want to earn points? Raise decent kids. Make your wife laugh. Dig sewage trenches in Calcutta. Explain why Keith Olbermann has his own show. 

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Writer Blinded By Octomom's Porn Video.

I don't normally write in the first person; the news is reported by me, but is not about me. 

This time, however, the story and I are hopelessly twisted together. The story damaged me. I can't tell one part of the story without the other: Octomom Nadya Suleman's sex tape blinded me.

It starts off innocently enough. The bulbous-lipped 57 year old looks almost hot in cotton panties and a tank top. She's talking directly to the camera while making some food. Bland stuff, this.

She spends a LOT of time filming herself. She keeps trying on sexy faces in the mirror, but it doesn't work, exactly. I mean, she's not well-used-up, Tara Reid-hot. She's more like post-plastic surgery old-lady Margot Kidder creepy; like the witch who gave Cinderella the apple, or like the old lady who got a house dropped on her by Dorothy. 

  

Fade out, then fade in on Octo lying naked on a floor. She is thin enough, I guess, but in a creepy way. It's like a thin girl put on a suit of skin from a girl who's a size 10. There is musculature; plenty of looseness the belly region, but it's covered with wrinkles and Shar-Pei skin. Obvious implants; perfectly round silicone sacks mounted behind what looks like a sandwich bag full of mashed potatoes.

She's now up, posing for the camera. Oh, God! She has the hair of a 21 year old, but the face and body of my Great-Aunt Myrtle. Fleshy ass-wrinkles, and extra skin around the knees and elbows. She's lying down now. I am half expecting her to say, "I've fallen, and I can't get up."

Oh, God, she's trying to be sexy, trying to lure her lover / cameraman toward her. She is naked, and the camera pans down her body. Chest... lower... Belly... lower... Pubic region... lower... Oh, what the F-CK IS THAT? 

Oh, dear God in Heaven!! 

Imagine a spy camera pointed at the toilet in a nursing home: There is filthy, wrinkled, well-stretched skin from pubic bone to mid-thigh. It is easily 6 inches in length; fetid, horrible. Crusty, even, like the rind on a wheel of cheese. Some... substance, running down the mess. It is glisteny and viscous, a horrid mixture of KY Jelly and the urine of an incontinent octogenarian. 

Pan up to her face; she is moaning. Touching herself. Rubbing herself. It is not sexy; it looks like Betty White giving herself a breast exam.

The camera zooms down and in, and I am horrified. Imagine staring into the maw of blackness, of death. I see the end of the universe, the end of time itself. There could be nothing more horrid. 

Then suddenly, a blast of white-hot light and then...

Darkness.

My doctor says I may see again, but I should not hold onto any hope. No human eyes could survive something as horrid as Octopig's sex tape.

May God have mercy on my soul.

UK Bans Squirting Videos While Americans Masturbate and Reupholster.

Fresh From England, the country that can't figure out how to merge cold and hot water in one tap, or safely install electrical outlets in a bathroom, comes the news that all pornographic "squirting" movies are banned in the UK, claiming that, instead of showing female ejaculation, it is in reality depicting "golden showers" or "Piss-Play"

"Since the NHS has reported that there is no such thing as female ejaculation, we can not allow 'squirters' to peddle their wares in the United Kingdom," said some, like, royal f--ker, whose name may or may not be Prince Rogers of Nelson. Doesn't matter, really, because no one to the right of the Atlantic Ocean will know who it is anyway.

"Ridiculous," responds Dr. Cassieardolla Story, a research physiologist who, using the stage name 'Cytherea', appeared in such movies as 'Squirting with the Stars', 'My Squirteenth Birthday', 'Tiny Tit Squirters' and 'A Beautiful Mindfuck'. "It is not some sort of retrograde urination."



"'Squirting'," Story continues, "can be physiologically explained via either Kegal contraction expressing Bartholin's glands or a build-up of fluid, forcibly released from the superficial perineal pouch. Studies including urethral catheterization prove this to be so."

Officials state that the UK's squirting ban does not include incidental vaginal expectoration:

"We are not talking about a delightful little Freshen-Up Gum blast over the tongue," Says NHS chairman Nic I. Sterling. "We are talking about being able to see the urethra open and 2 litres of of clear yellow fluid shoot skyward. Female ejaculation is not real, but what they're selling isn't female ejaculation."

"What? Really?" asks a masturbation aficianado who wishes to remain anonymous, and whose 3 children better get their asses in bed before he counts to three, or the weekend is beginning with time-outs for  everyone . "I always thought that squirting = pissing. Now it's less hot."

"Look," concluded Dr. Sterling. "Make no mistake: These are indeed piss-in-my-mouth videos, and calling them 'squirting' videos doesn't make it so. I mean, I could videotape myself sh-tting while upside-down, but calling myself a chocolate sundae maker ain't changing the smell, is it?"


 Should the word "play" EVER be modified by the word "piss"? I think not.

 The NHS has something to do with healthcare; I think it was funded by John Lennon, 'cause he wrote about donating a soap impression of Yoko to it.

 Editor's note: We mistakenly write above that Cytherea starred in 'A Beautiful Mind'. The correct title is 'Blow Me Sandwich 4 Featuring Negro-Vision'. We apologize for this error.

 Made fun of the UK, John Lennon, the NHS and misquoted Happiness is a Warm Gun: Let the hatemail and 1-thumbs-up ratings begin.

Kids These Days! OR: My Asshole Wanted To Say Hi.

Had a bit of a parenting dilemma this evening. After watching the scintillating techno-thriller "Beverly Hills Chihuahua II," my five-and-a-half-year-old went up to give her Mom a quick kiss goodnight. On the way over, she uh... she let out a little gas.

"What was that?" My wife asked her, smiling. Usually that would embarrass my baby to death.

Without missing a beat, this little kid says: "My asshole wanted to say hi."

I've never heard her curse before (damned public schools,) and I find it difficult to punish her after laughing like a mental patient for ten minutes. So, she got off with a reprimand and reminder about appropriate language.

Kids these days.

Thespoof.COM: Karma Hath Smited Thee

Thespoof.COM has been down for three days now.

Karma's a bitch.

Check us out on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Thespoofdotnet

http://www.facebook.com/Thespoofdotnet

Slapping The Virgin Mary On Dog Shit Don't Make It Lunchmeat.

If I slapped a picture of the Virgin Mary on a dog turd, would you call it lunchmeat?

You Facebook fucktards.

This is a scam!!!!

It leads to a FAKE US Healthcare site that asks you for your credit card.

Is it really that hard to realize that Christ usually doesn't allow his likeness to be used TO FUCKING SELL INSURANCE!?!

His agent is kind of a stickler that way.

Don't Blame All Motorcyclists For The Mistakes Of 95% of Them.

There was a motorcycle crash last night just outside of Staten Island, on the Driscoll bridge. A man was killed and a woman critically injured.

I abhor uneducated riders and the stupid crap they do: We've all seen riders split lanes. We've seen them ride in flip-flops, do stoppies at a red light, and ride the oil line right down the center of a lane, and it's reprehensible.

But does it make all riders blameworthy?

Of course not. Fully 5% of them DONT ride like their bones are coated with adamantium.

It's not the way all riders behave. So why blame 9754 motorcyclists for the mistakes 9375 of them make?? Blame "those motorcycles" for the problems caused by a select few?

Further, does it absolve those who drive cars of their abject douchefuckery? Nope, and when piloting a vehicle with two wheels, vehicular douchefuckery seems to be the rule, rather than the exception.

Does it change the fact that a man who crested the top of the Driscoll was dead before he got to exit 127? Or that a young woman's life has been profoundly changed?

Nope.

6 Successful Italian Americans You Don't Know Shit About Part 2

How do you make a Dago successful in business? Give him a gun! Bwaa, haa, haa. That is fucking hysterical!


2.) Amadeo Giannini (1870 - 1949) founder in 1904 of Bank of Italy, which later became Bank of America, the largest bank in the United States.

Amadeo Giannini --whose parents were Italian immigrants from Favale di Malvaro near Genoa, Italy-- was a hell of a businessman. Starting out as a produce broker, commission merchant and produce dealer for California. In 1901, at age 31, he sold his interest to his employees and retired. He later became a director of the Columbus Savings & Loan at a time where banks were run for the benefit of the wealthy, and Italian-Americans and other minorities were routinely refused service.

Pissed, he he quit the board in frustration and decided to start his own bank.

Giannini founded the Bank of Italy in San Francisco, catering expressly to Italian-American immigrants who were denied service from other banks, and became very successful doing so.

When the 1906 San Francisco earthquake struck, Giannini was able to get all deposits out of the bank building and away from the fires. Because San Francisco's banks were in smoldering ruins and unable to open their vaults, Giannini was able to use the rescued funds to start lending within a few days of the disaster. From a makeshift desk of a few planks over two barrels, he loaned money to anyone who was willing to rebuild. Later in life, he took great pride that all of these loans were repaid.

In 1922, Giannini established Bank of America and Italy in Italy by buying Banca dell'Italia Meridionale.

On March 7, 1927, Giannini consolidated his Bank of Italy (101 branches) with the newly formed Liberty Bank of America (175 branches). The result was the Bank of Italy National Trust & Savings Association with capital of $30,000,000, and resources of $115,000,000.

In 1928, A. P. Giannini merged with Bank of America, Los Angeles and consolidated it with his other bank holdings to create what would become the largest banking institution in the country. He renamed his Bank of Italy November 3, 1930, calling it Bank of America.

The former Bank Of Italy is now the largest bank holding company in the United States, by assets, and the second largest bank by market capitalization.It serves clients in more than 150 countries and has a relationship with 99% of the U.S. Fortune 500 companies and 83% of the Fortune Global 500.

As of 2010, Bank of America is the 5th largest company in the United States by total revenue, as well as the second largest non-oil company in the U.S. (after Wal-Mart). In 2010, Forbes listed Bank of America as the 3rd "best" large company in the world.

1.) Lee Iacocca - President, Ford Motor Co., Chairman, Chrysler Corporation, Invented the F--king Ford Mustang and 748 other cars.

While I love my Italian-American brothers and sisters, everyone on this list can stuff kittens up their asses and fire them out on command for all I care, lest they all bow and kneel before Lido Anthony Iacocca, the man responsible for the Ford Mustang.

Iacocca was born in sh-tty Allentown, Pennsylvania to Nicola Iacocca and Antonietta Perrotta, Italian immigrants from San Marco dei Cavoti, Benevento) who had settled in Pennsylvania and operated a restaurant, Yocco's Hot Dogs.

Iacocca joined Ford Motor Company in 1946. Initially an engineer, Iacocca moved into sales. While working in the Philadelphia district as assistant sales manager, Iacocca gained national recognition with his "56 for '56" campaign, offering loans on 1956 model year cars with a 20% down payment and $56 in monthly payments for three years.

So, yeah, every time you see one of those cool car ads offering an attractive financing package, just remember who invented it.

His campaign went national, and Iacocca was called to Dearborn, where he quickly moved up through the ranks. In 1960 Iacocca was named Ford's vice-president, car and truck group; in 1967, executive vice-president; and in 1970, president.

Iacocca also participated in the design of one or two cars for the company, most notably the Ford Mustang, the Lincoln Continental Mark III, the Ford Festiva and the revival of the Mercury brand in the late 1960s, including the introduction of the Mercury Cougar and Mercury Marquis.

(In the spirit of full disclosure, he then invented the Ford Pinto, which killed everyone who ever drove one, and then he got fired. OK? Are you happy?).

As part of his separation agreement, he was allowed to bring with him the plans for two products which he began developing at Ford.

At finally-f--ked Chrysler Corporation, which he took over in 1979, those products became the saviours of the company: The K-car and the front-wheel-drive minivan, which only became the foundation for the company's Dodge Aries,
Plymouth Reliant,
Chrysler LeBaron,
Chrysler Town and Country,
Dodge 400,
Plymouth Caravelle coupe,
Chrysler Executive limousine,
Dodge 600 coupe and convertible,
Chrysler E-Class,
Chrysler New Yorker,
Dodge 600 sedan,
Chrysler Laser,
Dodge Daytona and Chrysler Daytona,
Dodge Caravan,
Plymouth Voyager,
Chrysler LeBaron GTS,
Dodge Lancer,
Shelby Lancer,

Dodge Shadow,
Plymouth Sundance and Duster,
Shelby CSX,
Chrysler LeBaron coupe and convertible,
Chrysler New Yorker,
Dodge Dynasty and Chrysler Dynasty (Canada),
Chrysler Saratoga,
Dodge Spirit,
Plymouth Acclaim,
Chrysler TC by Maserati,
Chrysler New Yorker Fifth Avenue and
Chrysler Imperial.

No big deal.

In his spare time, Iacocca:

Headed the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation, which was created to raise funds for the renovation and preservation of the Statue of Liberty;

Co-authored his autobiography, titled Iacocca: An Autobiography, which was the best selling non-fiction hardback book of 1984 and 1985. (And he donated ALL the proceeds of the book's sales to diabetes research.);

Appeared on an episode of Miami Vice, playing Park Commissioner Lido in episode #44;

Co-authored (with Sonny Kleinfeld) Talking Straight, praising the innovation and creativity of Americans;

Turned down an appointment to the U.S. Senate in 1991 after the death of Senator H. John Heinz III by Governor Robert Casey;

Became the head of EV Global Motors, a company formed to develop and market electric bikes with a top speed of 15 mph and a range of 20 miles between recharging at wall outlets;

Supported the successful Republican candidate George W. Bush in the 2000 presidential election. (Look, everyone f--ks up at some point in their life.);

Founded Olivio Premium Products, which manufactures the Olivio line of food products made from olive oil. He donates all profits from the company to diabetes research.

Launched Join Lee Now, a national grassroots campaign, to bring diabetes research to human clinical trials;

Became Chairman of "Nourish the Children," an initiative of Nu Skin Enterprises;

Authored Where Have All the Leaders Gone? In the book, Iacocca writes:

"...Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, "Stay the course." Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America, not the damned Titanic. I'll give you a sound bite: Throw the bums out!"


Launched a website to encourage open dialogue about the challenges of our time. He has introduced topics such as health care costs, and the United States' lag in developing alternative energy sources and hybrid vehicles. The site also promotes his book Where Have All the Leaders Gone. It provides an interactive means for users to rate presidential candidates by the qualities Iacocca believes they should possess: curiosity, creativity, communication, character, courage, conviction, charisma, competence and common sense;

Led the fundraising campaign to enable Lehigh University to adapt and use vacant buildings formerly owned by Bethlehem Steel. Iacocca Hall on the Mountaintop Campus of Lehigh University houses the College of Education, the biology and chemical engineering departments, and The Iacocca Institute, which is focused on global competitiveness.

And, yes, he's 100%, first-generation Italian-American.


Here's sixteen more!:


* Samuel J. Palmisano - chairman and CEO of IBM.

* Jerry Colangelo - Former owner of Phoenix Suns, Phoenix Mercury, Arizona Sandsharks, Arizona Rattlers and Arizona Diamondbacks. Head of Phoenix Coyotes.

* Pat Croce - physical therapist, entrepreneur, once owner of the Philadelphia 76ers basketball team

* Edward J. DeBartolo (1946 - ) billionaire, former owner of the five-time Super Bowl champion San Francisco 49ers

* Fred De Luca - founder of Subway Sandwich.

* Giorgio DeLuca - founder of Dean & DeLuca

* Domingo Ghirardelli (1817 - 1894) founder of Ghirardelli Chocolate Company

* Tom Golisano - billionaire founder of Paychex, owner of the Buffalo Sabres, ran for Governor of New York in 1994, 1998 and 2002

* Joseph Kresivich - founder of the Stella D'Oro in 1930

* Gennaro Lombardi - opened the first US pizzeria in 1905, Lombardi's

* Tommy Mottola (1949 - ) head of Sony Music Entertainment until 2003.

* Amedeo Obici (1877 - 1947) founder of the Planters Peanut Company in 1906

* Anthony T. Rossi (1900 - 1993) Italian immigrant who founded Tropicana Products.

* Jay Sarno (1922 - 1984) Las Vegas business entrepreneur, who owned Ceasars Palace and Circus Circus.

* Leonard Riggio - owner of Barnes & Noble

* Louis Rossetto (1949 - ) founder and former publisher of Wired Magazine

Written by anthonyrosania

Just Take The Money And Put The Combos in the Bag. OR: How Could This Possibly Be Counterfeit?

Why is it when I pay for my blood pressure medicine and tranny porno mags with a $100 bill, the cashier looks at me like I just tried to pay her in wampum? "Hey, can I pay you in... beads? No? Well, I have some bricks of salt... Mmmmm, salt bricks."

This is legal tender, dummy, and excuse me of I want to carry my cash in a denomination that can't be replicated with copper coins!

And how could this bill possibly be counterfeit??? There's a blue 3-D security ribbon that contains images of bells, thee's 100s that move and change from one to the other as you tilt the note. The bell in the inkwell on the front of the note changes color from copper to green when the note is tilted. If you rub it with a coin it smells like apricots. Hook it up to a battery charger and you can receive Netflix on it and play some early Playstation 2 games, using Ben's bald head as a controller. And if you lick it, it tastes like snozberries.

Just take my money, sweetheart, give me my change and don't be mad at me because you work here: I actually took the SATs in 11th grade, and you decided to put college off.

Beat Your Kids! New Jersey Says It's Legal!

Sure, everyone knows that there's no better way to blow off steam after a hard day at the job than bashing your wife's head in with a meat tenderizing mallet. But coming home and donkey-punching the Mrs. is just going to land you in front of the same Judge who yanked your driver's license last year.

Now, New Jersey has solved the problem for everyone:

Beat the sh-t out of your kid!!


In New Jersey, like in all other states, the moment that the cops respond to your nosy neighbor's 911 call, and see that the old lady's nagging has turned Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist, you're getting Mirandized and fitted for locking bracelets.

There is a loophole, as it were, allowing you to imprint a family member's skull with the scuffs on your boots:

"Mandatory Arrest. A police officer must arrest and take into custody a domestic violence suspect and must sign the criminal complaint against that person if the victim exhibits signs of injury caused by an act of domestic violence." 

AND

The victim is; 18 years of age or older, or who is an emancipated minor, or if the victim, regardless of age, has been subjected to domestic violence by a person with whom the victim has a child in common, or with whom the victim anticipates having a child in common, if one of the parties is pregnant, or who, regardless of age, has been subjected to domestic violence by a person with whom the victim has had a dating relationship.

---State of New Jersey Domestic Violence Guidelines on Police Response Procedures in Domestic Violence Cases, 

Revised November 2004

So... ya can't spank the wife, or baby-mama, or your girlfriend. But, if the victim is under 18 and related to you?

Whale away!

"Yeah, it's fucked up," says child advocate Nick Rosania, who, as a victim of child abuse, was removed from his home 3 times as a kid. "A poodle has more rights and protection against domestic abuse than a child. It's sick."

Thus, next time you're really pissed, don't smack Mama or granny. Bash your son or daughter's head in! It's good for them, and fun for you!

I Poked somebody on Facebook and now...

I Poked somebody on Facebook and now...

‎...my finger has a cottage cheese-like discharge.

‎...Snooki is pregnant.

‎...I'll never wash this finger again.

... They want me to Google all over their Twitter.
... I'm embarrassed that I said, 'wouldn't be the first time I Poked her' out loud. In front of my kids. And my wife. And her Mom. In Church.

‎... I'm paying child support for some kid named Farmville.

... I've been sued for sexual harassment.

... I'm 200 facebook credits poorer.

‎... Myspace is jealous.

‎... And now she won't stop messaging me.

‎... And now she says if I don't talk to her she's gonna kill herself on webcam.

... It hurts when I pee.