Spider-Penis, Spider-Penis.

The producers of the new Spider-man reboot have scrambled to change the public's opinion of Spider-man's junk, after a still from the upcoming Spiderman movie shows star Andrew Garfield's obvious lack of bulge.

"Yeah, we saw that, and thought, 'F--k, it looks like Andrew is smuggling a raisin in that suit,' said director Marc Webb. "Without chicks and gay men seeing this movie, it'll sink."

In response, Webb "leaked" photos of Garfield on-set, and it certainly appeared that his Spidey-sense was tingling.

"They asked me to chub up before the photos were taken," said Garfield. "30 seconds of pinching the helmet, and I've saved the franchise.