Beat Your Kids If They Disrespect The Flag. Beat 'Em Hard.

July 4, 1973: I got to help my grandfather stake little mini-flags on our walkway.


I dropped one. And then I was beaten the fuck down.

Me. Not really, though.

And once I was awakened from my medically induced coma, Pop-Pop explained that it was illegal to allow a U.S. flag to touch the ground. Although he didn't seem to have a problem with punching the fuck out of little kid, which is way more illegal.


Federal law (4 U.S.C 1 et seq.) governs how one is supposed to handle and treat the Flag of The United States of America.

AAAAH! Pop-Pop's Coming!!!!!

Before anyone freaks out, BTW, law is advisory, so no one can go to jail because of it. But it's damned interesting, and it changed how I view the Flag's handling.


Lesson of the day: ALL MY GRANDPARENTS' NEIGHBORS WERE FUCKING SADISTIC ASSHOLES! What the fuck, old people? Nobody coulda dialed 911 (or, at the time, 215-231-3131) on your giant fucking click-click-click rotary phones to help a bloodied Kindergarten-aged kid out, just because no one rescued you when the Germans tattooed a number on your wrist ?


I'm glad you're all fuckjng dead. Assholes. Happy Fourth of July.

4 U.S.C 1 -Respect For The American Flag.


No disrespect should be shown to the flag of the United States of America; the flag should not be dipped to any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are to be dipped as a mark of honor.


(a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.


(b) The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise.


(c) The flag should never be carried flat or horizontally, but always aloft and free.

Pop-Pop used to always dress up for Christmas.

(d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker’s desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general.


(e) The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way.


(f) The flag should never be used as a covering for a ceiling.


(g) The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.


(h) The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.


(i) The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.


(j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart.


(k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.